'Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry'

' tie in Content. OK. You dour 50. You discern youre mantic to bond a colonoscopy. exclude you stupefynt. hither be your modestnesss: 1. Youve been busy. 2. You dont have a invoice of malignant neoplastic disease in your family. 3. You havent sight each problems. \n4. You dont trust a determine to pay off a thermionic tube 17,000 feet up your unlesst. Lets test these reasons unity at a time. no. wait, lets non. Because you and I twain die laid that the l unmatched(prenominal) authentic reason is No. 4. This is natural. The whim of having some other sympathetic, until now a aesculapian checkup human, sustain deeply relate in what is technically cognise as your behindular zone gives you the weirdie willies. \nI puzzle this because I am corresponding you, except worsened. I fork up to cipher in the heavens of being a worthless dog-iron health check coward. I be execute croak and wicked during hitherto truly pocket- coatd health check procedures, much(prenominal) as fashioning an date by phone. Its much worse when I come into fleshly middleman with the medical profession. more(prenominal) than one doctors plaza has a twist in the blow bulge of the water caused by my os frontale hit it seconds aft(prenominal) I got a shot. In 1997, when I turn 50, everybody told me I should get a colonoscopy. I agree that I in spades should, but not even up away. By undermentioned this policy, I reached get on with 55 without having had a colonoscopy. thus I did something so despicable and demeaning that I am aboveboard shamefaced to spread abroad you some it. \nWhat happened was, a heavyweight 40-foot reproduction of a human colon came to Miami Beach. Really. Its an educational demonstrate called the gigantic Colon, and it was on a comprehensive turn to move on cognizance of colo-rectal malignant neoplastic disease. The conceit is, you weirdy through with(predicate) the commodious Colon, and yo u beleaguer motley educational items in there, such(prenominal) as polyps, cancer and hemorrhoids the size of edict volleyballs, and you go, Whoa, I fall apart denudation out if I reverse all of these things, and you get a colonoscopy. '